Articles in the humor category

Offline status: online

I defy anyone to tell me what an offline status of online actually means. Or what an offline status of offline means. Would this mean that if I'm online my current online status is offline, or are both my online and offline status online?

offline status: online

The incredible generosity of Microsoft

Today we received the following email

Congratulations to Yose Widjaja on winning the inaugural Microsoft 1st
Place Performance Award and Alexander Kuptsov on winning the 2nd Place
Performance Award.  Yose receives Windows Vista Ultimate and the
Wireless Laser Desktop 6000 valued at RRP $968 and Alexander receives
a copy of Office Ultimate RRP $868.

Thank you to the Microsoft Australia (www.microsoft.com.au) for
providing these new awards!

The Microsoft Performance Awards will be annually awarded to the first
and second place winners of the CSE 3rd year Performance Awards.

The awards will be presented at the annual CSE Prizes Reception on
Friday April 20th.

Of course, well done to the students on their performance. But their prizes seem a little shallow, considering that the first prize winner could legally obtain Windows Vista Business Edition via the CSE MSDN Academic program completely free of charge, and Microsoft themselves are selling Office Ultimate to students for $75 on their itsnotcheating.com.au website.

I am glad to also be announcing the inaugural Open Source prize, which consists of a Debian install CD and a copy of Open Office. Prizes can be collected from me at any time!

Update: Luckily I was informed that this blog post was eligible for the Microsoft "Golden Blog" award, because it mentions the word "Office" and links to the get-office-cheap website. Here's hoping I can also win a copy of Vista ULTIMATE!

Telstra mobile internet pricing considered harmful

I recently saw an ad for the new Nokia NSeries where a smiling guy takes some happy snaps and clicks a few buttons to upload them to Flickr.

I was that guy (well, without the Nokia) until I got my bill for doing it.

The most expensive 600KiB ever

The resultant photo is completely crap, but it cost so much I can't bring myself to delete it.

I'm pretty sure the guy in the ad won't be smiling when he gets his bill, especially since the NSeries has got another megapixel over my phone's camera!

If you are reading this ...

The magic internet fairies have updated DNS entries, rsync is syncing, Apache is re-writing and CGI is gatewaying, and with some shoelaces and string everything is holding together.

In case anyone reading has not been calling me because they fear for my health should I have to pick up my phone -- rest assured that thanks to a new NICTA initiative my handset can now double as an operating theatre.

Telephone Disinfectant, front Telephone Disinfectant, back

Al Gore on his new movie

Al Gore on his new movie

And you inject some humor into your presentation.
It's hard to believe - I benefit from low expectations.

Linux powered ice cream

Now the next time someone emails me at work asking about machines to make gelato (it happens more than you would think), I can point them at the MooBella on-demand ice cream maker.